can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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