I accidentally burped into my bong.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
