yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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