We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize