we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
