if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
