I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
