This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
