just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
