the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.