This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.