New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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