Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I could fuck to npr.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
