dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
and she was petting her beer can
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
