I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
