she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
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Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
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Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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