He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
