First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
