Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
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Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
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we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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