please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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