We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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