his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
