Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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