I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
