The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
