You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
