Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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