Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
