if you like me you must not know who I am
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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