Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
