why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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