I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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