normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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