God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
