I hope mine doesn't look like that
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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