"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
