she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
