Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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