I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
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I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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