apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
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We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
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HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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