then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
