Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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