Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
