I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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