Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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