No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
worst night to have a conscience
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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