Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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