So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
