If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
