I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
