There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
