Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
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