Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

I really want to fuck my wifes sister.

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(816): I really want to fuck my wifes sister. http://tfl.nu/nla0

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(703): View more from Virginia

so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted

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(703): so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted http://tfl.nu/4p9h

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(313): View more from Michigan

sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test

(1-313): View more from Michigan

but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.

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(313): sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test (1-313): but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know. http://tfl.nu/w4h7

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(813): View more from Florida

hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.

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(813): hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton. http://tfl.nu/u4qg

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(303): View more from Colorado

I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation

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(303): I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation http://tfl.nu/w0jl

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(239): View more from Florida

they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out

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(239): they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out http://tfl.nu/ncls

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(859): View more from Kentucky

IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL

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(859): IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL http://tfl.nu/qlmv

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(303): View more from Colorado

Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?

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(303): Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo? http://tfl.nu/2zc2

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(503): View more from Oregon

There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.

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(503): There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to. http://tfl.nu/acu8

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(773): View more from Illinois

Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.

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(773): Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth. http://tfl.nu/gnm7

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

I like the way you think.

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(303): I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming. (1-303): I like the way you think. http://tfl.nu/s14n

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(602): View more from Arizona

If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.

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(602): If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for. http://tfl.nu/540a

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(201): View more from New Jersey

She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke

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(201): She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke http://tfl.nu/9cxf

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(330): View more from Ohio

The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.

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(330): The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it. http://tfl.nu/56k9

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

We can Fuck in the shower to save time

(1-262): View more from Wisconsin

And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.

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(262): We can Fuck in the shower to save time (1-262): And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative. http://tfl.nu/wr55

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