Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006

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  (312): Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006 http://tfl.nu/3jq0
  Replies (4) Good night (1275) Bad night (867)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.

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  (407): Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis. http://tfl.nu/knfk
  Replies (14) Good night (4880) Bad night (768)
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  (408): View more from California

  I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.

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  (408): I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class. http://tfl.nu/di0h
  Replies (14) Good night (6966) Bad night (1468)
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  (518): View more from New York

  College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.

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  (518): College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never. http://tfl.nu/pxty
  Replies (12) Good night (4115) Bad night (955)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  she fell through a window trying to flash someone

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  (708): she fell through a window trying to flash someone http://tfl.nu/c9dp
  Replies (12) Good night (4583) Bad night (1749)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow

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  (443): please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow http://tfl.nu/myf2
  Replies (10) Good night (4211) Bad night (1220)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina

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  (360): 5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina http://tfl.nu/2med
  Replies (16) Good night (2024) Bad night (865)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it

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  (561): There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it http://tfl.nu/iil4
  Replies (8) Good night (1309) Bad night (591)
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  (585): View more from New York

  You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.

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  (585): You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you. http://tfl.nu/gcz1
  Replies (4) Good night (1910) Bad night (635)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me

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  (425): I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me http://tfl.nu/ceiy
  Replies (8) Good night (397) Bad night (930)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?

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  (715): So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities? http://tfl.nu/h2if
  Replies (3) Good night (1066) Bad night (288)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.

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  (361): I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek. http://tfl.nu/8l4n
  Replies (1) Good night (369) Bad night (488)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW

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  (614): I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW http://tfl.nu/pbp6
  Replies (2) Good night (770) Bad night (273)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015

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  (970): I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015 http://tfl.nu/i7bt
  Replies (0) Good night (243) Bad night (181)
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  (530): View more from California

  Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.

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  (530): Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter. http://tfl.nu/lj30
  Replies (1) Good night (330) Bad night (134)

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