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I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
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