Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning http://tfl.nu/ufvh
  Replies (54) Good night (2018) Bad night (3902)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again. http://tfl.nu/kiui
  Replies (23) Good night (5919) Bad night (1235)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away. http://tfl.nu/2pvy
  Replies (32) Good night (8556) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk. http://tfl.nu/ad2i
  Replies (21) Good night (4903) Bad night (1200)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks http://tfl.nu/x484
  Replies (13) Good night (5908) Bad night (855)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight. http://tfl.nu/g7ms
  Replies (17) Good night (4409) Bad night (1625)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food. http://tfl.nu/ruld
  Replies (6) Good night (2188) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me. http://tfl.nu/r0al
  Replies (8) Good night (3030) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key http://tfl.nu/dsgw
  Replies (15) Good night (1989) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man. http://tfl.nu/t42g
  Replies (2) Good night (598) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move. http://tfl.nu/kgo8
  Replies (9) Good night (1212) Bad night (2088)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast http://tfl.nu/pow4
  Replies (4) Good night (1293) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  ...yet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem. (919): ...yet. http://tfl.nu/0q1s
  Replies (1) Good night (1371) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis. http://tfl.nu/cvxz
  Replies (5) Good night (577) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first http://tfl.nu/f0be
  Replies (2) Good night (316) Bad night (254)

Randomize