hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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