Sry I called you an 8
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
