I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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