In the future we'll all be gay
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
