ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
