my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
