so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
