So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
