Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
